RETROSPECTIVELY II

mix media on canvas
20" x 30"

going for auction, starting price at RM250!
April 2010 - RM263 SOLD

to Cik Siti Mahiran Abdul Hadi,
Wilayah Persekutuan, Malaysia.

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So here goes… writing from what is left of my heart.

I got scared.
So I called your phone too many times.
My head isn’t straight these days.
I’ve been busy carving walls out of anger.
Scratching letters in the red, wishing they were the love kind.

I had these wings once and I swear
now it’s like all the paper weight
often turns the feathers into the wrong words.
I swear now it’s like all the people's games
often turns the wind into an argument.

But honest...
I trust you like the god above me.
Like the god above me.
And I was scared.
Because what if you
were curled up on the side of a highway
holding your phone, paralyzed.
An accident, a crime.
What if.

What if a phone ringing
could pull you out of unconsciousness
if you were hurt badly, and losing grip?
What if.

What if I’m a lonely person?
What if I miss you when you're gone?
What if I make mistakes?
What if I treat you wrong...
I have always been grandiose.

But these fictional possibilities cross my mind
when there is silence.
And I get scared to think the past
is all I have of knowing you.