Wednesday, 16 May 2007

INTOXICATED


acrylic on canvas
18” x 18” x 6 pcs


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sleepless night again

my imagination runs wild tonight,
about life, passion and love,
on my sleepless night...

be it artistry or maladroitness,
be it verve or liveliness,
be it fabrication or dismantlement,
be it realization or failure,
be it fantasy or reality,
be it ecstasy or melancholy,
be it genius or stupidity,
be it fidelity or disloyalty,
be it arrogance or modesty,
be it passion or apathy,
be it attraction or aversion,
be it love and hate...

there's a dialogue between heart and brain going on,
there's a conversation and discussion between soul and mind going on,
there's a debate and argument between feeling and thought going on,
on and on and on and on...

sometimes i wish, i can be selfish and rude...
sometimes i wish, i can just ignore the fact...
and at times i wish, i can just fade away...

why must it arrive when i don't want it?
why must it appear when i don't need it?
why must it be difficult and complicated?
must i choose when i don't have choice?
must i endure, forgo, suffer, surrender and sacrifice?

i said no to love and relationship,
2 best friend came into the picture,
both have their excellence and flaws,
i know the fact that if i choose one of them,
things are not gonna be like before,
let alone better...

should i walk away?
should i stick around?
will it make things better at the end of the day?
will they still be best friend?
can we still be friend?

maybe i should just let it be,
maybe i should just go with the flow,
maybe i should let the time decide,
maybe i should just be me...

8 comments:

SeaDemon said...

Fai sayang..I love your paintings..let me lepak at your place and view all your paintings please.

SeaDemon

Fai Zakaria said...

SD, wait till you tell me that you've found something here and interested to buy. then, i'll let you come to view it closely at my place. heheheheee... and after you've agreed on the price too :)

Anonymous said...

Friends are forever for certain kinda people if they really know the true meaning of friendship. Friends and lover...it's two different thing. Follow your heart...that's the truth. Ask yourself....which one of "them" that really loves you. Mere they can be good friends or even siblings...If they respect each other, things would be alright and as for you....You'll get the best of both world...A good friend and a true lover...It's all up to you.

Fai Zakaria said...

Dear Anonymous... thanks for your advise. at the moment, i am following my heart and it does lead me to somewhere good but sometimes other people action, circumstances and the situation is the main obstacle for me to reach my goal! but then again, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. i will get there... cheers =)

Anonymous said...

Fai Dearie.. well, that's what life is all about. No pain no gain. Which ever ways or however it is, you'll reach your goal. You'll definately get there. Joy and happiness is waiting for you patiently. Just believe in YOU!!. What i can see here, and say is that, you have talent,creative and gifted kinda person. Not everyone lucky enough to have that but you do. Bless you dear.:)

Fai Zakaria said...

thank you... i hope you know what you're talking about cuz at times, i don't even know myself. but i do believe and always have faith in me. and of course, i also believe 'there's no pleasure without pain!!!' *smug*

4always said...

hey fai...
every relationship have its own path to take...
and if the path itself have its own obstacles....
either each path are given up...
or given a new turn....

^_^...gritz

Fai Zakaria said...

hmmmm...
something to ponder gritz!