mix media on canvas
30" x 40"
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30" x 40"
Aug 2008 - RM 3,500 SOLD
to Dr Norhamizan Hamzah,
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
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Have you ever hurt someone you loved most so bad till you can’t even forgive yourself??? I had and I did… And I regret it. How could I be so cruel and mean? How could i? What’s on my mind when I did that? I don’t know… I just lost it and there’s nothing I can do to undo it. Sigh…
May be it’s best I let her go? Should i? But should I make that decision without asking what she think or want? Will I be selfish for making that decision without even asking her??? Well, I don’t think anybody would want to be with me ever again after what has been said and done… Should I ask for another chance? Do I deserve one after all I’ve said and done? Aghhh! I really don’t know what to do now.
I can even afford to think seeing her again after what I did last night. Too embarrass, too guilty, too much! How should I face her? Let alone to look her in the eye like how I used to do before? I don’t know… I just don’t know what to do.
Can I hug her, kiss her and hold her like how I used to do? Cuz I love doing that… She fits my arms perfectly and she always said that it fit like a perfect puzzle piece. Sigh… Absent is unfair.
May be I should let her to decide. To leave or to stay… Cuz I know, I should be punish! In any way, it is like a punishment to me. If she leave, it served me right. I blew it off! I let my anger took place when I said numerous times of love and even claim that I love her too much! Why do I do that to someone who gave her heart, soul and trust to me when I’m all along asking from God for someone to loves me back? Sigh… I screw it up, I know. Well, if she stay… I’ll be forever scared to say I love you ever again cuz i might taking advantage of hurting her again? Will I be able to look her in the eye and said those precious words and mean it?
I don’t know what to do now…
I just don’t know.
But one thing I do know, I won’t be the same anymore until I can forgive myself again… Until I can look in her eyes and say I love her and I want to be with her without feeling guilty again… Mean time, I just wait for her decision. Let everything else but me be the judge of it. Let the fate and destiny lead the path. I'll just wait for my punishments...
May be it’s best I let her go? Should i? But should I make that decision without asking what she think or want? Will I be selfish for making that decision without even asking her??? Well, I don’t think anybody would want to be with me ever again after what has been said and done… Should I ask for another chance? Do I deserve one after all I’ve said and done? Aghhh! I really don’t know what to do now.
I can even afford to think seeing her again after what I did last night. Too embarrass, too guilty, too much! How should I face her? Let alone to look her in the eye like how I used to do before? I don’t know… I just don’t know what to do.
Can I hug her, kiss her and hold her like how I used to do? Cuz I love doing that… She fits my arms perfectly and she always said that it fit like a perfect puzzle piece. Sigh… Absent is unfair.
May be I should let her to decide. To leave or to stay… Cuz I know, I should be punish! In any way, it is like a punishment to me. If she leave, it served me right. I blew it off! I let my anger took place when I said numerous times of love and even claim that I love her too much! Why do I do that to someone who gave her heart, soul and trust to me when I’m all along asking from God for someone to loves me back? Sigh… I screw it up, I know. Well, if she stay… I’ll be forever scared to say I love you ever again cuz i might taking advantage of hurting her again? Will I be able to look her in the eye and said those precious words and mean it?
I don’t know what to do now…
I just don’t know.
But one thing I do know, I won’t be the same anymore until I can forgive myself again… Until I can look in her eyes and say I love her and I want to be with her without feeling guilty again… Mean time, I just wait for her decision. Let everything else but me be the judge of it. Let the fate and destiny lead the path. I'll just wait for my punishments...
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